To Punish or Not to Punish

I love having a child who is not a baby. He can dress, feed, wash, wipe, and entertain himself. He doesn't scream at my feet if I'm trying to do the dishes or make dinner. He doesn't constantly ask for milk and then throw it on the floor and scream (again with the screaming) for no reason. Independence is a great thing. Very slowly a burden is being lifted off my shoulders.

For some reason babies make me feel claustrophobic, like I'm trapped forever with no escape. Hyrum is helping me realize babyhood doesn't last FOREVER, which in turn is helping me enjoy the baby years more.

Along with independence comes more complicated issues though. Nothing is black and white anymore. For example: The other day I went to pick up Hyrum at preschool and his teacher pulled me aside and explained that Hyrum had a problem pushing that day. I was surprised. Hyrum isn't an aggressive boy and we've never had an issue at his school before. I didn't take it too seriously though, I assumed the boys were playing a little rough and Hyrum was the one who got caught. So on the way home I explained in my most authoritative voice that we never push. Hyrum's anxious response startled me: "But, MOM! They wouldn't stop scaring Sara! Sara's my friend and I had to protect her!"

Ummm... do I punish my child for trying to protect a friend? Am I a "Zero Tolerance" Mom? I tried to explain that pushing is unacceptable if the offender is only teasing. BUT if someone is actually hurting him or another person he can kick and bite and push all he wants in order to get away. It's so difficult to teach kids to be polite, but if someone crosses a line, to become a super ninja.

No matter what phase of life my kids are in, motherhood is HARD- in a beautiful, exciting and courageous sort of way.