We promised Hyrum a trip to the beach during Bry's break. The poor kid was getting very frustrated when we kept stopping at old buildings and museums. We were constantly diverting his attention by challenging him to find "wild animals". He'd say, "Renember Daddy, when you see a wild animal, point and scweam."
We were elated and surprised when we accidentally came upon a darling little beach in Yorktown. Hyrum was satisfied, and we didn't have to drive another hour to Virginia Beach- win, win.
It was a terrific break. It's so amazing to have Bry home all day to play and help. Now it's back to the old school grindstone again. Bry is the Class President so he's a little extra busy, but I'm proud of him. He's a great leader. We are becoming more accustomed to the strenuous schedule. I have grown so much in the short time that we've been here. Sometimes I feel like being away from dear home and family is like "life boot camp". I've tried to stop being a "victim" and start choosing happiness. I'm not saying that some days aren't difficult, but it's not worth complaining and grumbling. It's so easy to focus on the negatives, but I'm avoiding that as much as possible. Scripture study, fervent and constant prayer, exercise, music, books, creativity, and laughing have become my most important allies against despair and depression.
My outlook on motherhood has completely changed too. Being a mom was the only thing I ever wanted to do. I used to pretend like I had other aspirations, but deep inside I only wanted to be a mommy. That's why I was so stunned when it didn't come completely natural to me. I used to feel so trapped and claustrophobic. But recently I realized that I'm not stuck here, I could walk out at any time. For some reason the realization was so liberating. I'm staying at home because I think it's what's best for my family. I have no boss or paycheck or quarterly evaluation or any substantial way to measure how well I'm doing- maybe that's why motherhood is so difficult. It is a real sacrifice. I still have so many goals and dreams that either need to be put off or just stretched out over time- but who said sacrifice can't be fun too?
