Rise and Shout the Utahns Are Out! ...Week 1

My Family: "We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
~Erma Bombeck

Yes. This defines the Webbs perfectly. When I reminisce about our quarrelsome early days, I realize what a miracle it is that we're all such close friends. I can't say when the change from enemies to comrades occurred, but the transformation has meant EVERYTHING to me.

As soon as we entered my parent's condo, Ivy had to convey her dominance. Her first order of business was giving her Grandad a tour of his own house.

Is there any way to "hire a Grandma" when you live across the country from the actual individual?

She must be held to a high standard:

• She will cook for you, clean after you, and watch your kids so you can take a nap, exercise, and go on a date.
• She must pay for you to go out to eat, and go to the movies and museums.
• She will gladly watch chick flicks that your hubby refuses to watch with you.
• She allows you to chatter for hours about the most mundane experiences and is actually interested enough to give insightful, heartfelt advice.
• She will love and cherish your children as if she knows that they won't be small forever.
• She'll never expect any kind of pay or even thanks for the constant sacrifices- I need one of those!

Here's our little characters at the Utah Museum of Natural History.

There was a super cool frog exhibit- thus, the witches.

Dinosaur footprint

Here's all the grand kids. I love how each picture says SO MUCH about each personality.

Here's me with my darling pregnant sisters.

It's sad that the only time I can get a reliable picture of those squishy faces is when they're zoned on a movie. Every other second they're screaming and running laps.

The new aquarium was super cool.

Our favorite part is touching the rays.

Hyrum's favorite part of the Dinosaur Museum is always the pretend fossil dig at the very end. So, pretty much we're paying for him to sit in a big sandbox with twenty other kids.

Right by my parent's parking space is a dude who's a "luxury" car dealer. Bry couldn't resist getting pictures by these beauties (you'll have to ask him what kind of car they are).

One of the bonuses of visiting Utah is all the loving attention our kids get. All the built-in babysitters is such a relief.

Christian and handsome baby Junah.

When we came back to Virginia my kids walked around in stunned silence for a few days. The poor little ones were just looking for all their friends.

I had lots of fun showing the girls how to make bows. My mom and sisters are all so intelligent and talented- sharing some of my humble knowledge was a real treat.

One of the most paradisaical places on Earth is my parent's ranch house in Wyoming. We had so much fun exploring the property, biking, taking in the amazing view, inhaling the fresh mountain air, sitting by the fire, and staying up late watching spooky movies.


There's a saying: Family by chance, Friends by choice

I am so very grateful that each member of my family has made the friendship choice. Sharing a support group of adults with such integrity, aptitude, devotion, and just plain coolness is more valuable than I can describe with words. In the world I'm just a nobody, when I'm with my siblings I'm important. And that's all I've ever wanted.

How to Survive Flying Across the Country with a Toddler

1. Don't even think about it.

Change your plans

Go to a water park, or the library- better yet, just stay home and hide under the covers

STEP AWAY FROM THE PLANE TICKET

Okay, okay, if you really must go (are you SURE?) I might have a few suggestions. Just remember I warned you!

• You can never pack enough Goldfish crackers or apple crisps.
• Don't even think about reading your own book, sleeping, or listening to the new song on your ipod.
• Little pick-me-ups actually do wonders: a back scratch, a few seconds of deep breathing, a handful of yummy nuts, and small words of encouragement (instead of the death glare) can get the drained parents through the next few minutes at least.
• Use candy with prudence: once you start the handouts, you can NEVER stop. What if you only packed half an hour worth of treats? What if your little one's mouth is so packed she can't breath, but she's insisting on more, until she starts crying and screaming and sticky goo is flying everywhere? What if you're all so sticky you can't get out of your seat to pee? THINK ABOUT IT.
• Don't take the advice of popular magazines that state: "Let your kids run through the isle to release energy" ... when would this work? During beverage service that takes three hours or during turbulence? My toddler can't walk without falling on her darling face on solid ground! Face it- you're stuck.
• Pray to those tricky airplane gods that the poo will stay inside her body until the plane lands. Have you ever attempted a diaper change in those bathrooms? Talk about horror movie scene...
• Take a four year old along, he'll watch movies, take a nap, color, read, gaze out the window in astonishment at the clouds and little ant people below. He'll remind you of the possibilities.
• Try not to think about how you're driving your neighbors crazy. They're adults, they can deal with it. Hopefully you'll never see them again.
• There comes a time when the songs and books and games and food and treats just stop working. Let it go. Let her cry and scream and kick. This is a prime time for you to cry too. (Maybe the people who turn to glower at you might feel a little more sympathetic.) You're little one might even calm down after a few minutes and actually fall asleep... until the captain declares the weather over the intercom.
• Walk off the plane with pride, you did it! You didn't loose it, you didn't jump out of the escape hatch at one thousand feet. Good for you!

These pictures don't hide our "plane eyes"- exhausted, bored, irritated and ready for a real bed. One day planes will come equipped with a kids play room. Including babysitters wouldn't be hoping for too much, right?

Needless to say our plane trips verged on traumatic experiences. We survived though. It actually made coming back to Virginia more bearable- at least we're not on the plane anymore!!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

The casual T-ball spectator might find the game a little boring and maybe even painful to watch. It couldn't be less true for the parents.

Watching Hyrum hit the ball two feet and run to the base looking like a bobble-head doll is delightful.

Then, I beam with pride as the other team hits and Hyrum joins the dog pile of teammates attempting to grasp the ball first -words cannot describe the joy.

All joking aside, it was a really fun time, and so entertaining!

We were so happy that Hyrum was on the same team as his good bud Brayden too.

(Brayden was the best tackler on the team)

Hyrum loved everything about the game- we can't wait until next season!

-please try to ignore the terrible sound on the vid, that's what we get for buying a cheapo-

Proud to be an American

Mark Twain said:

“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe

that you too can become great.”

We were so dang lucky to spend an amazing Fourth of July weekend with some truly GREAT friends, the Essigs. Even though they are super successful and busy, they are so sweet and humble and attentive. Ivy kept us all (including the entire block) up one night with her screaming and they were still so kind and understanding. You guys are one in a million!

Ali watched the babes so we could visit the beautiful DC Temple with her adorable friends.

Then she lead us on a personal US Capital tour which was so inspiring.

Every space is breathtaking, Ali was the best tour guide!


Ali and Chelsy took the kids to the dress rehearsal concert on the Mall so we could cheer on the Nats.


Natural History Museum Lincoln and Ali were so cute with the kids- they'll be great parents:)
Tired little baby.

I was amazed to see so many foreign tourists (I assume they're not American) celebrating the holiday with us. I was so proud to celebrate the country where so many lives were and are sacrificed so that my dear children can live in such comfort and simplicity. I love my country and feel so privileged live on this hallowed land.

10 Things I Love About You

My (very late and cheap) Father's Day Present

TO BRY:

1. You still laugh HYSTERICALLY at every bodily function joke in movies.

2. You're so infuriatingly responsible.

3. You dance with me in the kitchen while the hardly edible casserole is cookin'.

4. You giggle when you're nervous or excited.

5. Yes, your bum made the list, and it is divine.


6. You can't carry a tune to save your life, but you sing at the top of your voice because you know I hate to sing alone.

7. You can't hide your excitement when you walk through the door after an exhausting day and the kids run to smother their daddy.

8. You make us laugh so hard we should probably store a spare oxygen tank, just in case.

9. You write notes to us before you leave in the early morning so when we wake up we always know that we are loved all day long.

10. You automatically reach your hand towards mine (when it's not filled with a child or grocery bags) when we're close- a meaningless gesture to most, but to me it means "You belong to me, I'm here, and I won't let you go".

One day I'll be able to give you an awesome boat or that cool Bumble Bee car, but for now all I can give you is a humble and sincere Thank You.

TO DAD:

1. One of your best friends was a dog named Hayduke.

2. You have always been an amazing hubby and companion to mom.

3. Somehow you can pull together an amazing meal with the most random assortment of ingredients.

4. You still let me sit on your lap like I'm a 7 year old girl who just needs her daddy.

5. Making you laugh is pretty hard, but SO worth the effort.


7. You have the weirdest social skills, but somehow manage to gain the trust and love of everyone who meets you.

8. You never force your opinion on anyone, even though your knowledge on almost every subject greatly surpasses anyone I know.

9. You make gray hair look like Cary Grant instead of Santa Claus.

10. You sing to and cuddle with and kiss and play with your Grand kids- you'll never know how much that means to me.

I look forward to many more camping and fishing trips, hopeless but still fun Jazz games, farmers markets, and hikes up the canyon. I'm so lucky to be your daughter!

LOVE YOU DAD!

TO DAD TRUMP:

1. You're smile always had a hint of mischief, like a little boy who's about to throw a water balloon at your face.

2. Even when you were dying, you thought about all others before yourself.

3. You had never ending pride and integrity with every job.

4. You loved watching Lawrence Whelk, bubbles and all.

5. You were the best gossip!

6. Having a difficult life was never an excuse.

7. You were always completely honest (sometimes a little too honest).

8. You and your darling wife raised the best hubby and daddy!

9. You never ran out of hugs and kisses.

10. You'll NEVER grow up.

We miss you everyday, Dad. There have been times when we've felt your presence and we truly hope it wasn't just our imagination. It helps sweet Hyrum to know that when people (and animals, and balloons) die, not only do they live with Jesus, but his Grandpa is with them too.

You Know You're a Mama if...

You've replaced "the outfit" with "the yoga pants"

I've heard it said, "The problem with stretchy pants is you can gain twenty pounds and not notice"

Problem? I say miracle!

You've made friends with the ants- at least SOMEONE will clean up around here!

Your yard is littered with designer plastic toys.

Your sink is CONSTANTLY bursting with grimy dishes.
In the words of a dear friend, "We're like a family of locusts consuming everything in sight."
At least locusts don't leave behind dirty dishes.

Where's my miracle of the seagulls?

The novel has replaced the "single with no responsibilities or attachments" feeling.

You can't get "The Wheels on the Bus" out of your head.

You ate Kraft Mac n Cheese for lunch and enjoyed it.

You recognize that every mess is one baby step closer to independence.

Both liberating and heartbreaking at the same time.

You get to hear face squishingly adorable things like, "Mommy? When we fly in the airplane to Utah, can we get my purple balloon?"

(Yes, the loss of the purple balloon was a tragedy in our house)

You've honestly forgotten how to converse with adults.

Chocolate has become a survival technique.

You are touched (you cry like a baby) from movies, TV commercials, school programs, t-ball games, family trips, primary programs, and everyday regular moments because "beautiful" and "touching" have taken on a whole new meaning.

You drive a MINI VAN- nuff said.

You can't see your couch due to the piles of laundry.

Your fridge is cluttered with priceless treasures.

Your pantry is stuffed with high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors and (gasp) partially hydrogenated oils.

Your beautiful children have encrusted bogies all over their faces and you ... wait a minute ... NOPE- don't care.

The only time you get "all dolled up" is for church.

You would go through months and even years of trying to get pregnant, just to endure nine months of semi-torture and excruciating labor and all night cry fests and engorgement and temper tantrums AGAIN.

Because yes, it's SO worth it.

So come on in, get comfortable (move the laundry out of the way first), and laugh with us.

The Cheese Stands Alone