Ivy the Hairdresser

Ivy is obsessed with hair lately.  Anything with hair that will hold still long enough for her to wrap an elastic around a few strands is at risk.  This is one of her creations:



She's not a gentle, or tidy hairdresser, but she's already better than her dad:)

Dressin' Up

There's nothin' like a great dress to boost your mood and confidence and make you feel ultra feminine.  We all have our favs we secretly wish we could wear every day, we just choose not to, 'cuz wearing the same clothes every single day would be weird... I wish I could communicate this fashion sense to my little 3 year old. 

Here's her beloved dress at the moment:

She picked it out with her daddy while she tagged along during a dress-pant shopping trip.  I'm not sure if it's her favorite because of the memory of precious daddy time, because of the sparkles (the girl loves her bling), or because it has a picture of Hello Kitty.  Speaking of--- what is this magical attraction little girls have with Hello Kitty?  I don't get it.

This was my favorite dress when I was three:

I totally remember wanting to wear it everyday, as if it had magical powers or something.  I have several pictures with me in this particular outfit, including this hilarious one:



I love all the different facial expressions (sorry it's grainy).


Even though she has a closet full of in-style fashions, Ivy would prefer her comfy, sparkly, special memory dress.  I guess it could be much, much worse.



Change in Perspective

Bottle feeding is more labor intensive than breastfeeding.   It's been quite a shock to a formula feeding novice like myself how much more work is involved.  With all the cleaning, scrubbing, soaking, and sanitizing I found myself annoyed every time I found another dirty bottle sitting beside the sink (as if it magically appeared there).  That is- until a few days ago when the bottles disappeared off the counter all together. 

Poor little Delia has been suffering from a nasty bug and has subsequently gone on a hunger strike (I believe it might have to do with the fact that she can't breathe through her nose... possibly).  It's scary and heartbreaking to have a sick baby and I couldn't be more ashamed of my attitude BEFORE she caught this illness.

Here's Delia in all her crusty bogies and bed- headed glory.



YES, stay-at-home-motherhood is exhausting and sometimes tedious, but I CHOSE this as my profession, career, and calling in life.  YES, my daily list of chores in never ending and boring, but how many mothers would love to stay at home and spend more time with their children?  I have been blessed with so, so, so many things in my life- it is time to stop wallowing and start celebrating!

Because this is an on-going difficulty for me I decided to do a little research on the subject and came across this amazing, beautiful, and inspired article (written before I was even born, but still written for ME):

Carol B. Olsen, "A Sense of Perspective", Ensign, June 1982, 69

I HIGHLY recommend this article be read through thoroughly, but one of my favorite quotes is:

"There is beauty to be appreciated everywhere, creative experiences to be savored, learning and thinking and growing to be enjoyed. To the degree that we understand the possibilities we gain an eternal perspective."

I'm starting my own "perspective" journal.  I'm going to fill it with articles like this, inspiring scriptures, stories, and other "beauty to be appreciated" so when my prospects seem narrow I can find strength through others' faith.



Poor, sick Hyrum



Ivy's finally feeling better!



I WISH I could say I'm not like so many of the proud, ungrateful examples I read about in the scriptures.  I WISH it didn't take a WORSE situation to realize how comfortable and blessed my life is.  I can only pray I listen to my own advice as I instruct the kids about the uselessness of whining and the peace a grateful point of view brings.



Lets all chant together:  BRING ON THE BOTTLES!!!

Confessions

I give my kids too much dessert knowing they won't finish.  I usually only get a few bites, but they taste all the more delicious because of the scandal.

I pretend I'm a Broadway super star when I do the dishes at night- singing at the top of my voice, imagining the captivated crowd, and dripping dirty water all over the floor during the most intense songs.

My celebrity crush is Chuck Bartowski.  I've never been able to resist a funny, nerdy, and athletic guy :)

When the kids are entertained I love to take Delia to a quiet room in the house, just me and her.  We play peek-a-boo, snuggle, sing songs, and talk about our day.  She's normally either on my hip or sleeping while the rest of us are busily bustling around, almost like she's not even here.  So when I get a chance to stop and give her undivided attention it's so precious.

I fall asleep after reading just a few paragraphs of whatever's in my tired fingers.  Whether it's the scriptures, a parenting book, or the latest must-read novel.  I LOVE to read and have really missed it.  So, to fill my reading void, Bry and I have been watching fun TV series with Netflix.  I like this option so much more than flipping channels because we can control what we watch so much easier and no commercials is always a bonus.  We're currently enjoying Merlin right now (We tend to like what BBC has to offer much more than many American Broadcasting companies).

I obsessively research newly discovered health news. I can't get enough information about what we should be eating, the most effective exercises, and beauty gadgets and creams.  But, I hardly ever implement anything into my own life.  We still eat the same old stuff we have for years, I still exercise the same way, and my beauty regimen hasn't changed in forever.  I guess it's hard for me to change my habits and routines- even if I know it's not the best choice for me and my family's health.

I do a little dance every time Delia and Ivy are asleep at the same time.  It's very rare and I can't help but giggle at the possibilities- I can do anything, ANYTHING I want!  When this rare opportunity presents itself I usually spend the time with my new hobby:



Jewelry Making



I CONSTANTLY hear babies crying- like a weird ring in my ears that never goes away.  I hear it when I'm trying to sleep, taking a shower, and even when I'm holding Delia.  Yep, I'm going crazy.  I think it's my brain's way of dealing with the constant fear that I'm going to forget one of my children.

Mommy Uniform

I'm the maid, nurse, doctor, coach, janitor, chef (if PB&Js count), cosmetologist, personal trainer, laundress, and teacher to my little family.  What do all these professions have in common?  They wear comfy, frumpy, easy to clean clothes and uniforms while at their job.  MY job is 24/7, 52 weeks per year. 

This is my mommy uniform:

(Masterfully taken by Hyrum)

It's not stylish or flattering.
 
Maybe when Ivy can actually put her food in her mouth and when Delia stops spitting up her entire stomach contents I'll consider changing out of my pjs every day... maybe.

Paying Homage to Cabbage

WARNING: The proceeding blog post includes such words as "breastfeeding", "engorgement", and "gas". 

For those of you who are prone to blushing, scoffing, or using phrases like "too much information!" you might want to skip this post.

You've been warned...

Just a stinky vegetable that gives me gas? 

NO LONGER! 

The cabbage will go down in the "History of Erin" books as a beautiful, amazing, healing flower of paradise.

I was heartbroken to find out I had to stop breastfeeding Delia last week.  I am ashamed to admit I was feeling resentful towards her because whenever I ate chocolate, dairy, and most fruits and veggies she was irritable and gassy.  So my diet was pretty limited.  I was fantasizing and craving foods like pizza, ice cream, cheese sandwiches, and chocolate chip cookies.  Even though I was excited for the time when I could resume my junk food diet, nothing prepared me for the abrupt halt in nursing my sweet baby.  When I had to stop, I realised how lucky I was that I could breastfeed, how precious that time was, and how satisfied I felt giving my baby the best nutrition possible.  I've been incredibly emotional and clingy towards all my kids ever since- I never realised how important the simple act of breastfeeding was in my life.

Poor Delia was an absolute champ about the whole thing.  She went through a hard day and then drank the formula like she'd been doing it all her life.  She hasn't shown any signs of trauma or anxiety either (I know that sounds silly, but I honestly thought she would be bad-tempered and angry at me for abandoning her).

I on the other hand, suffered not only emotionally, but the engorgement was excruciating.  The pain, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety was so horrible!  I had previously heard about using a cabbage compress, and many friends suggested it, but I didn't believe it would make any difference.  Finally, after enduring a week of pain without relief I was desperate to try anything.  The FIRST night after applying the cabbage I slept like a baby (a baby who sleeps through the night- which no baby does, so I don't know why we say that, but you get the idea).  The relief has only gotten better with each hour and I could dance for joy.  Do I smell like a combination of rotting cabbage and sour milk?  Yes.  Do I really care? Nope!  Thank you whoever decided to put cabbage in your bra!  You were crazy, but I needed you!

Oops...

I always wanted a surprise pregnancy. I just didn't ever think it would happen when I was incredibly happy not being pregnant.

Yes, I'm expecting. I'm 14 weeks, due July 15th. It is unknown if my heart medication is safe during pregnancy, so sadly, I can't take it anymore. My blood pressure has been pretty good though. AND I haven't fainted yet, which is a great achievement.

I'm trying not to panic about how in the world I can be a Mother to three kids, or where the baby is going to sleep in our tiny home, not to mention all the STUFF that comes with babies. I'm also trying not to panic about moving across the country with a baby (in a year and a half).

One thing I've learned is planning my future doesn't work. BUT having faith and gratitude with whatever comes my way does. I tell Hyrum all the time that whining doesn't help. I have to have the faith that Heavenly Father will not give me more than I can handle. I'm sure it will be difficult at times, but we'll survive and be stronger in the end.

I have never learned more about myself, life, and the true nature of God than during motherhood. I guess I have more to learn.

The Tilt Table Test

I've always known something was up, I just didn't know what. It started in Jr. High with the constant exhaustion and weird random fainting. We just figured I was a teenager with crazy hormones. It continued getting much worse around a certain time of the month in High School, but medicine seemed to clear up that problem. Sporadic fainting continued until college with some pretty embarrassing scenes of carnage. During pregnancy, the passing out and exhaustion was pretty scary, but it's never been more difficult to deal with until kids came along and I had little lives depending on me.


I've had COUNTLESS tests performed on my body from head to tummy, and every procedure pointed to a healthy young girl. One day I happened upon a show on The Discovery Channel called Mystery Diagnosis. This particular episode depicted a woman with exactly the same symptoms as I had, I couldn't believe it. It tells how her problems were lifelong, until she received a Tilt Table Test and she found her out her mystery diagnosis.


After finding a Cardiologist in my area, and more preliminary tests, of course, I was ready for my miracle test. I didn't really understand the complexity of this particular examination, so I just walked into the hospital all by my myself thinking it'd take an hour or so. I wondered why everyone kept making a big deal that I didn't bring anyone to drive me home. After they made me de-robe and they administered an IV, heart monitors, and oxygen test thingies, I started taking it more seriously.


The test was super simple. I was strapped to a table which they raised 75 degrees (pretty much a standing position). Then everyone went into a little room separated by a glass window to chat and talk on the phone while I just stood there bored out of my mind with no music to listen to or books to read. I was about to say, "Okay! Nothing's going to happen! I know you're going to tell me everything's normal and perfect!" When I started feeling nauseous. Next thing I know, I'm lying flat and everyone's bustling about me asking if I'm okay. Yes, I fainted. It took me 17 minutes of standing to faint. My doctor's words were (in a strong Indian accent), "We know what is wrong, we will fix it, everything will be okay!" I could have kissed him right there, but I was trying not to vomit.

As I look back on that crazy day I can't help but laugh. I walked in looking healthy and happy, joking with the nurses and staff. I think they were convinced nothing was wrong with me, because after I fainted they kept repeating questions they previously asked like, "How long has this been going on?" or "How often do you faint?" with bewildered expressions. Apparently most people need medicine in order to induce fainting during the test. I don't need any assistance to faint, thank you very much.


It was a crazy day, I woke up a semi-healthy person with mysterious symptoms and went to bed a person with a life-long disease and medication to go with it. I officially have Cardiocirculatory Syncope (which pretty much means my heart slows down and I faint). We still don't know exactly why my heart decides to slow down, but at least we understand more than we ever have. I take a vaso-constrictor (which raises my blood-pressure) three times a day, drink eight ounces of water every hour, and wear tight socks up to my knees. So far I've felt much, much better.

I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like if I'd taken the Tilt Test sooner, but then I remember even the yucky days lead me to an AMAZING man who is the best husband for my sickly needs, and the most darling kids who make it a joy to get out of bed even if it's agonizing.